A Mother's Achilles' Heel
So lately I have noticed that the older my daughter gets, the more different my husband and I are in our parenting ideas. We started on the same line of the same page months ago, and now it seems that we are drifting to separate pages. These pages are still across from each other in the book, but are getting pretty close to flipping away from one another.
I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out why we are having so many differences in opinion these days, and I think I have finally boiled it down to one thing: breastfeeding. I guess that actually makes it two things...
Before I share why breastfeeding is sending my husband and I in separate parenting directions, I just want to clarify something. Formula-feeding moms, I respect you. Just because I am writing a post on breastfeeding does not mean that I do not want you here sharing laughs. As long as your baby is well taken care of, I don't care what you feed it. (I sincerely hope that someone will send me their funny formula stories for me to share, so that moms of all kinds are represented here.)
Back to my story now. Breastfeeding for several months now has led to a very strong and special bond between my daughter and I. Sure, as a working mother I pump. My baby is well-acquainted with a bottle, and is even transitioning to a sippy cup. However, that does not change the fact that when I am within her nose's or eye's reach that she wants me and only me as a food source. I guess she simply prefers the fountain. Fine by me. I'd honestly much rather feed her then bother with pumping. My baby is also at the age where she is eating solids, so her milk consumption is down during the day. But right before bed, she becomes ravenous. She is also teething, so she is a little cranky. She wants me and only me. I cannot help it.
My dear, sweet hubby thinks that I can just put her in her crib with some music and a teething ring, and she will just go to sleep on her own. "Let her cry for a minute." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First, I just can't. Mentally, it drives me instantly insane. Props to the mommas who can let their baby cry, I just can't. It makes me want to cry. Second, my chest can't. I have tried hundreds of metaphors to get this point across to my husband, but he still doesn't seem to comprehend. How can I explain it?
A crying baby is to a breastfeeding woman as an arrow is to Achille's heel, enough said.
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
Friday, October 16, 2015
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Wacky In-Law Wednesday
The Top 17 Questions Pregnant Women Answer
The average toddler or young child asks hundreds of questions a day. The average grown-up asks thousands, at least when it comes to probing about a pregnancy... Okay, probably just dozens; but when these questions are asked over and over, it feels like thousands. When word got out that I was pregnant, I was flooded by these, particularly by nosy in-laws. I'm even willing to bet that these are the top 17 questions pregnant women must answer. (Or ignore!)
How many times a day are you throwing up?
Zero. Okay, go ahead and hate me. I never got morning sickness. I did lose my appetite, but it was not because I was puking up my guts every day.
Are you eating right?
Unless you are a registered dietitian or my OBGYN, you have no business inquiring about my eating habits.
Are there, like, a million things you can't eat yet?
No. Once again, I don't know if I'm lucky, or the stereotypes portrayed on television are just so far fetched, but I only found two things I couldn't eat for nine months: fish and eggs. Honestly, neither one was a huge deal. I could still eat my three favorite foods: french fries, tacos, and ice cream.
Are you craving anything weird?
Not really. I would say I ate more hot fries than usual, but there were never any weird combinations. Pickles and cookies, no thanks!
When is your next doctor's appointment?
Great grandparents-to-be asked this the most. I never got the complete obsession of when I was going to the doctor... It's not like anyone besides my husband was getting an invite. (Not that he had the option!)
What did you do at your last doctor's appointment?
Something about the older generation again... And I'm talking they wanted details. Let's just get this out of the way now: I am a VERY modest person. Or at least I was pre-baby. Asking me intimate details about my doctor's visits was a good way to get me bent out of shape. There is no need for you to know about me peeing in a cup or stripping down for an exam... You know.
Oh my gosh, you let your husband go to the doctor with you?
I realize that 50 years ago this was not the standard, but times have changed. Over the dozen or so visits I had to the doctor, I probably saw less than five women without their husband or significant other. Men tag along to be supportive and stay in the know. My husband was not the type that asked questions, but he did learn a lot, and it was a lot easier for the doctor to explain things than have to hear it from me!
What diapers will you be using?
Though I did my research early in the game and made a firm decision (hey, you have to register eventually!), was there really any need to know when I was only a couple months along? Side notice: No, I do not need your advice on what brand to use.
Will you be breastfeeding or using formula?
Wow! I was asked this question an innumerable amount of times. I'll be honest, I did not know for a long time, and I still didn't feel like the people asking needed to know. Once again, a lot of unasked for advice.
If it's a boy, do you want to have him circumcised?
People get really into asking this, but I was so NOT going to be talking about this. I never even thought about even thinking about it, until we knew the gender. Since I was having a girl, I never even had to think about it, let alone make a decision.
Will you co-sleep, use a bassinet, or a crib?
All I hear with this question is "I have some more unwanted advice to spew at you, with some very firm opinions on the matter." No thanks, I'll pass.
Is it a girl or a boy?
I'll tell you when I know, and when I want you to know.
What if it's twins? It has to be twins!
Yes, there is such a big chance it could be twins, what with there being one set of twin great-aunts on my side of the family, and none on my husband's side. (Grandparents and great grandparents-to-be swore they ran on his side, but no examples were ever produced.) Seriously, what did you expect me to say? That I'll give you one, because no one in the history of ever has been able to care for more than one baby at a time?
Do you want a girl or a boy?
I want a happy, healthy baby. Is there really any other answer? Okay, secretly I was hoping for a girl, but I would have been more than thrilled to have a little boy as well.
What names do you have picked out?
Blank and blank. Like I'm really going to tell you? Maybe I want it to be a surprise when my husband and I reveal the gender.Maybe I don't want someone else stealing my baby name. And maybe, just maybe, I don't want you to go buy and personalize approximately 10,000 onesies with my baby's intended name.
Will you name it after me?
Knowing what a creative person I am, do you think I would settle for giving my baby a repeat name? Not a chance. It's one-of-a-kind, and that's all you need to know.
When do you to want to have the next one?
This one is barely in the oven. Hold your horses. An acceptable time to ask this question would be... Never.
Now my forehead is sore from palm-facing while re-living such obscenities. Be on the look out for more palm-face inducing tid-bits.
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
The average toddler or young child asks hundreds of questions a day. The average grown-up asks thousands, at least when it comes to probing about a pregnancy... Okay, probably just dozens; but when these questions are asked over and over, it feels like thousands. When word got out that I was pregnant, I was flooded by these, particularly by nosy in-laws. I'm even willing to bet that these are the top 17 questions pregnant women must answer. (Or ignore!)
How many times a day are you throwing up?
Zero. Okay, go ahead and hate me. I never got morning sickness. I did lose my appetite, but it was not because I was puking up my guts every day.
Are you eating right?
Unless you are a registered dietitian or my OBGYN, you have no business inquiring about my eating habits.
Are there, like, a million things you can't eat yet?
No. Once again, I don't know if I'm lucky, or the stereotypes portrayed on television are just so far fetched, but I only found two things I couldn't eat for nine months: fish and eggs. Honestly, neither one was a huge deal. I could still eat my three favorite foods: french fries, tacos, and ice cream.
Are you craving anything weird?
Not really. I would say I ate more hot fries than usual, but there were never any weird combinations. Pickles and cookies, no thanks!
When is your next doctor's appointment?
Great grandparents-to-be asked this the most. I never got the complete obsession of when I was going to the doctor... It's not like anyone besides my husband was getting an invite. (Not that he had the option!)
What did you do at your last doctor's appointment?
Something about the older generation again... And I'm talking they wanted details. Let's just get this out of the way now: I am a VERY modest person. Or at least I was pre-baby. Asking me intimate details about my doctor's visits was a good way to get me bent out of shape. There is no need for you to know about me peeing in a cup or stripping down for an exam... You know.
Oh my gosh, you let your husband go to the doctor with you?
I realize that 50 years ago this was not the standard, but times have changed. Over the dozen or so visits I had to the doctor, I probably saw less than five women without their husband or significant other. Men tag along to be supportive and stay in the know. My husband was not the type that asked questions, but he did learn a lot, and it was a lot easier for the doctor to explain things than have to hear it from me!
What diapers will you be using?
Though I did my research early in the game and made a firm decision (hey, you have to register eventually!), was there really any need to know when I was only a couple months along? Side notice: No, I do not need your advice on what brand to use.
Will you be breastfeeding or using formula?
Wow! I was asked this question an innumerable amount of times. I'll be honest, I did not know for a long time, and I still didn't feel like the people asking needed to know. Once again, a lot of unasked for advice.
If it's a boy, do you want to have him circumcised?
People get really into asking this, but I was so NOT going to be talking about this. I never even thought about even thinking about it, until we knew the gender. Since I was having a girl, I never even had to think about it, let alone make a decision.
Will you co-sleep, use a bassinet, or a crib?
All I hear with this question is "I have some more unwanted advice to spew at you, with some very firm opinions on the matter." No thanks, I'll pass.
Is it a girl or a boy?
I'll tell you when I know, and when I want you to know.
What if it's twins? It has to be twins!
Yes, there is such a big chance it could be twins, what with there being one set of twin great-aunts on my side of the family, and none on my husband's side. (Grandparents and great grandparents-to-be swore they ran on his side, but no examples were ever produced.) Seriously, what did you expect me to say? That I'll give you one, because no one in the history of ever has been able to care for more than one baby at a time?
Do you want a girl or a boy?
I want a happy, healthy baby. Is there really any other answer? Okay, secretly I was hoping for a girl, but I would have been more than thrilled to have a little boy as well.
What names do you have picked out?
Blank and blank. Like I'm really going to tell you? Maybe I want it to be a surprise when my husband and I reveal the gender.Maybe I don't want someone else stealing my baby name. And maybe, just maybe, I don't want you to go buy and personalize approximately 10,000 onesies with my baby's intended name.
Will you name it after me?
Knowing what a creative person I am, do you think I would settle for giving my baby a repeat name? Not a chance. It's one-of-a-kind, and that's all you need to know.
When do you to want to have the next one?
This one is barely in the oven. Hold your horses. An acceptable time to ask this question would be... Never.
Now my forehead is sore from palm-facing while re-living such obscenities. Be on the look out for more palm-face inducing tid-bits.
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
Monday, October 5, 2015
Mom Confession Monday
A Hard-Learned Truth
I'm keeping this week's confession short and simple.
For a long time, I thought I didn't need friends. I am more strong-willed and independent. I know how to socialize, and I actually enjoy the company of other people. However, I do no usually crave the companionship of other people (apart from my husband and baby.)
Lately though, I am finally realizing the value of friendship. I am a full time student, a full time teacher, and a full time mom. That basically boils down to one word: stress. I actually have found that friends are a good source of stress-relief, particularly those who are also working, in-school moms.
Without getting mushy gushy or spilling too many details, I want to share news of what is to come. An old friend of mine, who works, goes to school, and is the mother to two very sweet and adorable boys will soon be joining me in this blog endeavor!
Stay tuned for stories of toddler tantrums, life with boys, motherly friendship, and more from my sweet friend whose pseudonym is to be determined.
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
Friday, October 2, 2015
Father Funnies Friday
Easy As... (Spoon) Feeding a Baby
I sincerely hope that my daughter grows into a classy little lady. I want her to have manners, class, and style. Basically, I want her to be like me. I do not, however, want her to pick up my husband's manners, or lack there of. Don't get me wrong. He is the model of a Southern gentleman, mostly. He opens doors for me, lets me eat the last bite of shared desserts, and all that other good stuff. But I won't lie, hubby has some habits I've been working on kicking since we started dating almost six years ago. I know that men cannot be trained, but I have yet to give up hope.
One of these habits I hope my dear, sweet husband does not pass on to our daughter is how he eats. My man likes to eat. I don't blame him. So do I. I also happen to think I'm a pretty stellar cook, so it's fine that he wants to engulf plates of my fine home-cooked creation. However, he could be a little more suave about his eating. I don't think I've ever seen him eat a meal where food didn't land on his shirt. Fork? More like a food bulldozer to balance overly-large mouthfuls that lead to said dropping. And one piece of popcorn? No thanks. Hubby stuffs an entire fistful in at one time, using his hand as a shovel. I've seen a two year-old with better habits!
Back to my baby though... My husband has an issue feeding her. He is perfectly capable, but also carefree. Baby girl wants to smear green beans from chin to eyebrow? Sure thing. Swipe pears from ear to ear? Go ahead! Smash peaches on the table and floor? Be his guest. I know babies can be messy, but I just don't understand. When I feed her, 95% of the food goes in her MOUTH. When he feeds her, it's closer to 50%. Why even use a spoon? He could just use his hand shovel...
Does your husband struggle to keep food in his mouth, or his baby's? Let me know!
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
I sincerely hope that my daughter grows into a classy little lady. I want her to have manners, class, and style. Basically, I want her to be like me. I do not, however, want her to pick up my husband's manners, or lack there of. Don't get me wrong. He is the model of a Southern gentleman, mostly. He opens doors for me, lets me eat the last bite of shared desserts, and all that other good stuff. But I won't lie, hubby has some habits I've been working on kicking since we started dating almost six years ago. I know that men cannot be trained, but I have yet to give up hope.
One of these habits I hope my dear, sweet husband does not pass on to our daughter is how he eats. My man likes to eat. I don't blame him. So do I. I also happen to think I'm a pretty stellar cook, so it's fine that he wants to engulf plates of my fine home-cooked creation. However, he could be a little more suave about his eating. I don't think I've ever seen him eat a meal where food didn't land on his shirt. Fork? More like a food bulldozer to balance overly-large mouthfuls that lead to said dropping. And one piece of popcorn? No thanks. Hubby stuffs an entire fistful in at one time, using his hand as a shovel. I've seen a two year-old with better habits!
Back to my baby though... My husband has an issue feeding her. He is perfectly capable, but also carefree. Baby girl wants to smear green beans from chin to eyebrow? Sure thing. Swipe pears from ear to ear? Go ahead! Smash peaches on the table and floor? Be his guest. I know babies can be messy, but I just don't understand. When I feed her, 95% of the food goes in her MOUTH. When he feeds her, it's closer to 50%. Why even use a spoon? He could just use his hand shovel...
Does your husband struggle to keep food in his mouth, or his baby's? Let me know!
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Wacky In-Law Wednesday
Pregnancy Reveal and Reactions
I suppose I might as well keep telling my pregnancy story via Wacky In-Law Wednesdays. Let's pick up where we left off.
"I'm so excited!" *tears of joy*
I suppose I might as well keep telling my pregnancy story via Wacky In-Law Wednesdays. Let's pick up where we left off.
"I'm so excited!" *tears of joy*
"Was this planned or an accident?"
"Cool." *total look of indifference.*
"Yes! Finally!"
"Are you ready to take on the role of parents? It's the biggest thing you will ever do."
"What??"
"It's about time."
"When do you want your next one?"
"It's about time."
"When do you want your next one?"
"Who else have you told already? Are we the first to know?"
Can you match the family member to the reaction? No need really; I just wanted to illustrate the variety of responses my husband and I received when sharing our news with our families. After all of the nonsense pre-pregnancy, I shouldn't have been surprised by the wide array of responses. What did take me by surprise was the amount of responses that were negative, callous, or snide. After all that razzing about hurrying up to have a family, now you are insinuating that we cannot handle it?
Don't even get me started on the asking if it was planned or not... Really?!? That's nobody's business. If you have been keeping up with my blog, you know that it indeed was planned. But really who cares if it was planned or not? It's not like my husband and I ever said we did not want children, and then it happened. Or that we were far off of my "two years married first" rule, because we were nearly spot on, if you know what I mean. Not that it matters (especially in today's world where unplanned pregnancy runs popular), but you are looking at a couple who had been married two years, both with a college degree and a steady job. I feel that in a case like this, all anyone should have to say is "congratulations!"
Don't even get me started on the asking if it was planned or not... Really?!? That's nobody's business. If you have been keeping up with my blog, you know that it indeed was planned. But really who cares if it was planned or not? It's not like my husband and I ever said we did not want children, and then it happened. Or that we were far off of my "two years married first" rule, because we were nearly spot on, if you know what I mean. Not that it matters (especially in today's world where unplanned pregnancy runs popular), but you are looking at a couple who had been married two years, both with a college degree and a steady job. I feel that in a case like this, all anyone should have to say is "congratulations!"
That wasn't the case though, as seen from the comments above. The lack of positive comments made me regret telling anyone so early, and definitely gave me fear as to what non-family would say... Needless to say, I wound up waiting until I was five months along before telling anyone at work. That's another story for another day though. Until next time!
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
Monday, September 28, 2015
Mom Confession Monday
Little Person Chores vs. Big People Chores
Have you ever noticed the insane amount of chores added to your daily list that are just for that tiny person living with you? As if caring for yourself and your husband (who is basically a child anyways) isn't enough, a baby adds an unimaginable amount of to-do items to the list.
Laundry
The items are tiny, but where did the second full hamper of the week come from? My baby doesn't even dirty up more than an outfit a day, but I'm drowning in her laundry.
Bottle Cleaning
Dishes are already my favorite chore. Let me do some more! And it's not just bottles, it's pump parts of you have them, baby spoons, bowls, sippy cups... My baby uses more dishes than me.
Sanitizing
Toys, tethers, car seat inserts, swim head rests... There is a veritable smorgasbord of items than unfortunately cannot just go in the washing machine or dish washer. Maybe I sanitize too much, but one word sums it up. Germs!
Tidying Up
We've all been there. Company is coming, and you have less than five minutes to tidy up. Or you tidy up before bed like I do. Is it just me, or does baby stuff creep and crawl throughout the house of its own accord? I consider myself lucky to have two big closets in the nursery to stuff miscellaneous items. Until I go to open it... Ever seen Zaboomafu?
What other chores have been added to your list from the tiny person that lives with you? Let me know!
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
Friday, September 25, 2015
Father Funnies Friday
The Disappearing Act
Last week, I left for work a little earlier than usual, so I could try to get a head start on my day. I asked my husband to make sure everything was set out for the sitter, lest she have to go through my cabinets and such to find things. Not even five miles down the road, I get a phone call. It's my husband. I think something must be drastically wrong. What could have happened in five minutes you ask? Maybe he discovered the deep freezer stopped working in the middle of the night, and all of the milk was ruined. Maybe our less than half-a-year-old daughter that cannot even stand yet jumped out of her play pen. Maybe the sitter called to cancel last minute. My mind flashed among scenarios like this as I reached for the phone. (I swear, I am NOT paranoid... Just worrisome at times.) I pick up the phone.
"Honey, where are the bottles?" Really. That's all he called for? I am about to have a mini heart-attack, and he just wants to know where the bottles are. Wait. What did he just ask? Really? Did he just ask me where the bottles are? Of course they are in the same cabinet they are every day Wait. Did I move them? No. Definitely not. I replied, "They are in the cabinet." He said he had already checked the cabinet. I start worrying again. Did I leave them out to dry? Are they in my diaper bag? His diaper bag? No. No. No. They are in the cabinet. I ask him to check again. Same response. If I have to turn around and show him that those bottles are in fact in that cabinet, I'm going to do nefarious things. Though I had literally tidied up the cabinet the day before, I ask him to start emptying its contents to find the bottles. I know I put them right in front. Why would I hide them? He is getting angry, telling me they are clearly not here. I hear the sitter in the background, saying something in the background. Great, now we are making a scene. My husband declares loudly, "I just don't see them on this shelf, I give up." This shelf? Hello, the cabinet is made of... TWO shelves. I said two words: "look up." Instantly he asks me when we started keeping things on both shelves, because it started as one. I told him it wasn't important, and to have a good day. What I didn't tell him? We've had stuff on the upper shelf for over a month.
It got me thinking about how my husband has a problem finding anything in our house. He is constantly telling me that I re-organize and move things around too much. I RARELY move anything, and if I do, I always pull him aside and specifically point out where I put it. Our daughter is several months old now. Do you think he would fare well if I quizzed him on where we keep her things? This past week, I experimented. I periodically asked him to fetch me things: a bib, burp cloth, bassinet sheet, our baby's pajamas, socks, wipe refills for the diaper bag, a teething ring, baby nail clippers, and just for grins, a baby blanket. (All of the blankets from the usual repository were in the dryer... He had to literally think out of the box on this one!) If I was to give him a grade, I'd say my husband would score around a 50.
I'll admit, it's not just baby stuff that 'disappears' when I'm gone. It's everything. The remote, the phone charger, his favorite chips (okay, maybe I ate those...), the spoons, his shoes... It never ceases to amaze me. I feel like we are living Night at the Museum, where everything comes to life at night. Except, instead of night, it's when I'm gone. And, instead of creepy statues and odd taxidermy, it's everyday items in our house.
Do things grow legs and walk away when you leave your husband at home? Let me know!
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
Last week, I left for work a little earlier than usual, so I could try to get a head start on my day. I asked my husband to make sure everything was set out for the sitter, lest she have to go through my cabinets and such to find things. Not even five miles down the road, I get a phone call. It's my husband. I think something must be drastically wrong. What could have happened in five minutes you ask? Maybe he discovered the deep freezer stopped working in the middle of the night, and all of the milk was ruined. Maybe our less than half-a-year-old daughter that cannot even stand yet jumped out of her play pen. Maybe the sitter called to cancel last minute. My mind flashed among scenarios like this as I reached for the phone. (I swear, I am NOT paranoid... Just worrisome at times.) I pick up the phone.
"Honey, where are the bottles?" Really. That's all he called for? I am about to have a mini heart-attack, and he just wants to know where the bottles are. Wait. What did he just ask? Really? Did he just ask me where the bottles are? Of course they are in the same cabinet they are every day Wait. Did I move them? No. Definitely not. I replied, "They are in the cabinet." He said he had already checked the cabinet. I start worrying again. Did I leave them out to dry? Are they in my diaper bag? His diaper bag? No. No. No. They are in the cabinet. I ask him to check again. Same response. If I have to turn around and show him that those bottles are in fact in that cabinet, I'm going to do nefarious things. Though I had literally tidied up the cabinet the day before, I ask him to start emptying its contents to find the bottles. I know I put them right in front. Why would I hide them? He is getting angry, telling me they are clearly not here. I hear the sitter in the background, saying something in the background. Great, now we are making a scene. My husband declares loudly, "I just don't see them on this shelf, I give up." This shelf? Hello, the cabinet is made of... TWO shelves. I said two words: "look up." Instantly he asks me when we started keeping things on both shelves, because it started as one. I told him it wasn't important, and to have a good day. What I didn't tell him? We've had stuff on the upper shelf for over a month.
It got me thinking about how my husband has a problem finding anything in our house. He is constantly telling me that I re-organize and move things around too much. I RARELY move anything, and if I do, I always pull him aside and specifically point out where I put it. Our daughter is several months old now. Do you think he would fare well if I quizzed him on where we keep her things? This past week, I experimented. I periodically asked him to fetch me things: a bib, burp cloth, bassinet sheet, our baby's pajamas, socks, wipe refills for the diaper bag, a teething ring, baby nail clippers, and just for grins, a baby blanket. (All of the blankets from the usual repository were in the dryer... He had to literally think out of the box on this one!) If I was to give him a grade, I'd say my husband would score around a 50.
I'll admit, it's not just baby stuff that 'disappears' when I'm gone. It's everything. The remote, the phone charger, his favorite chips (okay, maybe I ate those...), the spoons, his shoes... It never ceases to amaze me. I feel like we are living Night at the Museum, where everything comes to life at night. Except, instead of night, it's when I'm gone. And, instead of creepy statues and odd taxidermy, it's everyday items in our house.
Do things grow legs and walk away when you leave your husband at home? Let me know!
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
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