Stress & Anxiety, Where Least Expected
Barnyards are filled with chaos. With a baby on the way, my life is filled with chaos too... Just not in the ways I imagined. I always figured that I would eventually be stressed or anxious over common things in my pregnancy, like dealing with the ups and downs of growing a tiny human, preparing a nursery, stocking up on diapers, and learning how to care for a newborn. Months later, I realize that none of those things have stressed me out. NONE. Sure, I would love to have finished the nursery sooner or have more diapers stocked up. Those things just seem to go by the wayside though when you are more focused on having a good pregnancy.
One thing you need to understand about me is that I am a pretty anxious person. I like things to be organized and well-planned. Call me OCD; I know I do! My husband teases me that my views in life are very black and white, with no grey areas. (Perhaps that is why I love panda bears so much?) When things do not go my way, I get stressed in a hurry. Knowing that pregnancy could bring a lot of the unexpected, I decided early on that I would try my hardest not to be anxious or stressed, and to just let the little things go as best I could. I realized that this would be the best thing for both my baby and me. Surprisingly, I was able to relax and keep myself calm with much more ease than I expected. I am still not sure how my long list of fears and anxieties evaded me, but I am thankful for a husband who I know helped steer me in the right direction. He has guided me and encouraged me when needed, and has truly been a team player in pregnancy. With him by my side, I have been able to thoroughly enjoy pregnancy.
BUT... Stress and anxiety still found me! They scratched and clawed their way into the fortress of comfort and solitude that I had built up, and started knocking me down. That is why I am here, at nearly 3:00 a.m., unable to sleep yet again. What caused this stress and anxiety? The question is not so much a "what" as a "who." That's right, PEOPLE did this to me! Even worse, it is the people who think they are helping that are hurting.
Yes, my chaotic "barnyard" is filled with relatives that pose a major threat to my happiness with baby. The worst part is that these people think that they are doing so much good; they don't even realize that their words and actions hurt. This is no new occurrence though. Every stage of my life with my husband has been speckled by the poorly thought out words and inappropriate actions of relatives, from dating to engagement to marriage and now a baby. I guess this is probably a common phenomenon, but that doesn't change the fact that it upsets me.
Stay tuned for humorous* stories about these oblivious relatives and how I cope.
XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma
*funny now, not so funny at the time of occurrence
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