Wacky In-Law Wednesday

Begging for a Baby, Part 2

We already established that people were anxious for my husband and I to have children, much more so than we were. I probably didn't go a week without some form of this conversation coming up with a relative. Why are people so pushy? Did they want to put forth the time, energy, money, and effort to raise more children? My view is that they had their time already. But it turns out that is exactly what it was. These people wanted us to have children, so they could have grandchildren, or great-grandchildren. I found this completely absurd. I recall with great detail one particular family dinner where I lost my cool with one particular relative. It went something like this:

Relative 1: "Speaking of children (note: how does this subject come up so much?), are y'all ready to start having them yet, or at least thinking about it?" 

Me: "No, no. We are far from it." 

Relative 1: "But you said you were waiting two years, and it has already been one and half. That would mean you need to be pregnant already or very soon."

Me: "No, I meant that we wanted to be married two years, then have children. Two FULL years to enjoy each other's company."

Relative 2: "But it's not fair! I want to be able to hold my great-grandchildren before I die. You need to hurry up."

Me: "First off, it's none of your business when we decide to have children. Secondly, you have other grandchildren you can push to have children, because we just aren't ready. Thirdly, if you'd stop smoking like a chimney, maybe you'd live long enough to see your great-grandchildren. If you don't butt out, maybe we just won't have any children. How do you like that?" 

Also note that I had a fork in one hand, and a knife in the other when this went down. We were right in the middle of dinner! Having lost my appetite with this conversation, I excused myself and went to the bathroom where I of course broke down and cried. My husband and I had already been trying. I was haunted by the single pink line on a white plastic stick. Though we really had intended to wait two full years, we decided that we were ready to start a family. Even though we knew it would take awhile, I had a secret fear that I was infertile, and would never be able to conceive. (A pointless fear, as proven just a few months later.) 

Nonetheless, my strong words made a slight impression upon those pushy people, who left me alone for awhile. Awhile being a month, maybe two tops, where there was no mention of children. Then I realized they were still talking about it, just not to me. My husband and I (and his entire family) went on an annual summer trip out of state. I had just finished a very busy year, so I dared to indulge in some alcohol in public. We were on vacation out of state where none of my students would see me; I was going to enjoy it! Mind you, I don't drink much, and I have a VERY high tolerance, thanks to some German blood pulsing through my veins. At one particular lunch, my brother-in-law offered me some fried pickles, one of my former favorite treats. I turned them down, because for some reason the smell of pickles had inexplicably been making me sick for months. Two relatives, sitting directly across from me, exchange glances and immediately start whispering behind a menu. 

Relative 1: "She must be pregnant." 

Relative 2: "No, surely not. Look at how much she has had to drink this week!" 

Relative 1: "Maybe she doesn't know." 

Relative 2: "Or doesn't care." 

SERIOUSLY?! What kind of person did they take me for? 

I'll admit that this is all funny now, but still gets my blood boiling a little, thinking about what I put up with for two years. I tried to convince my husband that when I did get pregnant, we should withhold telling these people for as long as possible, for payback. Lucky for them, he talked me into playing nice, and we told them at two and a half months... 

Stay tuned for the first 'hilarious' tale of our pregnancy journey and those dear, dear people who were of course on their best behavior... Yeah right. This is a barnyard. No one is on their best behavior. Not even relatives. 


XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma