Wacky In-Law Wednesday

Pregnancy Reveal and Reactions

I suppose I might as well keep telling my pregnancy story via Wacky In-Law Wednesdays. Let's pick up where we left off.

"I'm so excited!" *tears of joy*

"I'm too young to be a grandparent."

"Was this planned or an accident?"

"Cool." *total look of indifference.*

"Yes! Finally!"

"Are you ready to take on the role of parents? It's the biggest thing you will ever do."

"What??"

"It's about time."

"When do you want your next one?"

"Who else have you told already? Are we the first to know?"

Can you match the family member to the reaction? No need really; I just wanted to illustrate the variety of responses my husband and I received when sharing our news with our families. After all of the nonsense pre-pregnancy, I shouldn't have been surprised by the wide array of responses. What did take me by surprise was the amount of responses that were negative, callous, or snide. After all that razzing about hurrying up to have a family, now you are insinuating that we cannot handle it?

Don't even get me started on the asking if it was planned or not... Really?!? That's nobody's business.  If you have been keeping up with my blog, you know that it indeed was planned. But really who cares if it was planned or not? It's not like my husband and I ever said we did not want children, and then it happened. Or that we were far off of my "two years married first" rule, because we were nearly spot on, if you know what I mean. Not that it matters (especially in today's world where unplanned pregnancy runs popular), but you are looking at a couple who had been married two years, both with a college degree and a steady job. I feel that in a case like this, all anyone should have to say is "congratulations!" 

That wasn't the case though, as seen from the comments above. The lack of positive comments made me regret telling anyone so early, and definitely gave me fear as to what non-family would say... Needless to say, I wound up waiting until I was five months along before telling anyone at work. That's another story for another day though. Until next time!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma 

Mom Confession Monday

Little Person Chores vs. Big People Chores 

Have you ever noticed the insane amount of chores added to your daily list that are just for that tiny person living with you? As if caring for yourself and your husband (who is basically a child anyways) isn't enough, a baby adds an unimaginable amount of to-do items to the list. 

Laundry

The items are tiny, but where did the second full hamper of the week come from? My baby doesn't even dirty up more than an outfit a day, but I'm drowning in her laundry. 

Bottle Cleaning 

Dishes are already my favorite chore. Let me do some more! And it's not just bottles, it's pump parts of you have them, baby spoons, bowls, sippy cups... My baby uses more dishes than me. 

Sanitizing 

Toys, tethers, car seat inserts, swim head rests... There is a veritable smorgasbord of items than unfortunately cannot just go in the washing machine or dish washer. Maybe I sanitize too much, but one word sums it up. Germs!

Tidying Up

We've all been there. Company is coming, and you have less than five minutes to tidy up. Or you tidy up before bed like I do. Is it just me, or does baby stuff creep and crawl throughout the house of its own accord? I consider myself lucky to have two big closets in the nursery to stuff miscellaneous items. Until I go to open it... Ever seen Zaboomafu? 

What other chores have been added to your list from the tiny person that lives with you? Let me know!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma

Father Funnies Friday

The Disappearing Act

Last week, I left for work a little earlier than usual, so I could try to get a head start on my day. I asked my husband to make sure everything was set out for the sitter, lest she have to go through my cabinets and such to find things. Not even five miles down the road, I get a phone call. It's my husband. I think something must be drastically wrong. What could have happened in five minutes you ask? Maybe he discovered the deep freezer stopped working in the middle of the night, and all of the milk was ruined. Maybe our less than half-a-year-old daughter that cannot even stand yet jumped out of her play pen. Maybe the sitter called to cancel last minute. My mind flashed among scenarios like this as I reached for the phone. (I swear, I am NOT paranoid... Just worrisome at times.) I pick up the phone.

"Honey, where are the bottles?" Really. That's all he called for? I am about to have a mini heart-attack, and he just wants to know where the bottles are. Wait. What did he just ask? Really? Did he just ask me where the bottles are? Of course they are in the same cabinet they are every day Wait. Did I move them? No. Definitely not. I replied, "They are in the cabinet." He said he had already checked the cabinet. I start worrying again. Did I leave them out to dry? Are they in my diaper bag? His diaper bag? No. No. No. They are in the cabinet. I ask him to check again. Same response. If I have to turn around and show him that those bottles are in fact in that cabinet,  I'm going to do nefarious things. Though I had literally tidied up the cabinet the day before, I ask him to start emptying its contents to find the bottles. I know I put them right in front. Why would I hide them? He is getting angry, telling me they are clearly not here. I hear the sitter in the background, saying something in the background. Great, now we are making a scene. My husband declares loudly, "I just don't see them on this shelf, I give up." This shelf? Hello, the cabinet is made of... TWO shelves. I said two words: "look up." Instantly he asks me when we started keeping things on both shelves, because it started as one. I told him it wasn't important, and to have a good day. What I didn't tell him? We've had stuff on the upper shelf for over a month.

It got me thinking about how my husband has a problem finding anything in our house. He is constantly telling me that I re-organize and move things around too much. I RARELY move anything, and if I do, I always pull him aside and specifically point out where I put it. Our daughter is several months old now. Do you think he would fare well if I quizzed him on where we keep her things? This past week, I experimented. I periodically asked him to fetch me things: a bib, burp cloth, bassinet sheet, our baby's pajamas, socks, wipe refills for the diaper bag, a teething ring, baby nail clippers, and just for grins, a baby blanket. (All of the blankets from the usual repository were in the dryer... He had to literally think out of the box on this one!) If I was to give him a grade, I'd say my husband would score around a 50.

I'll admit, it's not just baby stuff that 'disappears' when I'm gone. It's everything. The remote, the phone charger, his favorite chips (okay, maybe I ate those...), the spoons, his shoes... It never  ceases to amaze me. I feel like we are living Night at the Museum, where everything comes to life at night. Except, instead of night, it's when I'm gone. And, instead of creepy statues and odd taxidermy, it's everyday items in our house.

Do things grow legs and walk away when you leave your husband at home? Let me know!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma

Mom Confession Monday

Drowning (In Baby Clothes)

Onesies, dresses, rompers, cardigans, pants, diapers ruffles, socks... The moment I found out I was having a baby girl, I just couldn't wait to dress her up like a little doll in all of the cute, tiny clothes I could get my hands on. So of course, her closet is drowning in these things. They are all tiny, but few are cute. Why? Because people won't Siri buying her clothes! My daughter has more clothes than me, and that's saying something. She has so many outfits in each size that she would have to wear three outfits a day to get through them before outgrowing them, and she only ever needs one outfit a day. People could buy useful things, like diapers. But no, buying new parents something useful and guaranteed to be used must be a sin. It's not like they can even buy clothes that fit my standards. Is it really hard to buy baby clothes that fit the following stipulations? 

1. No butterflies. 

Seriously. I. Hate. Butterflies. Since I see the clothes more than anyone, I don't think it's too much to ask. 

2. No cartoon characters. 

Until my baby girl is old enough to tell me that Belle or Ariel is her favorite Disney princess, I don't need cheesy outfits bedazzled I their cartoon glory. Keep it classy!

3. No writing, unless tasteful. 

A tidy, sophisticated printed "love" or "hope" is acceptable. "Mommy's little angel," and "I have a present for you" are not things I want slapped across my daughter's onesies. It's unprofessional, and I don't care that my daughter is a few months old. It's just tacky. (Sorry Garanimals, you're the worst! Though I do love your non-worded clothes.)

4. No excess ruffles or frills. 

If my daughter turns out to be a little bit of a tomboy, I won't be offended. 

5.  No college-themed clothes that aren't from my husband and I's alma mater. 

That's just disrespectful. 

I'd go on about holiday clothes, but that's another matter. If you can't follow these rules, please don't buy my baby clothes. Also, be polite. Leave the tag on, just in case. Don't be upset that I returned your clothes for different ones or something else, because my baby just had too many clothes. If you are dying to buy her clothes, your most sure-fire bet she will wear them is if I pick them out and you pay. 

After battling myself internally about whether she should wear all of the clothes purchase for her, I decided that my answer is no. She doesn't deserve to wear ugly clothes, unless it's her choice. For now, it's my choice!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma

Father Funnies Friday

The Mom Test

My husband sent me this last week. I keep finding myself laughing about it, inevitably every time my husband is caring for our daughter. I thought it was too good not to share!



Don't forget to share your father funnies!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma

Mom Confession Monday

The Miracle Product Every Mom Needs

I know you. You, like me, want that one product that makes your life easier by saving your three most valuable assets: time, money, and energy. Stop the presses now, and read this: 

I have found it! The one miracle product that not only saves you a tremendous amount of time and energy, but also money. This product is easy to use, extremely versatile, and will replace many of your household cleaners. You can find this product at your local supermarket, drugstore, or baby store, and it is very reasonable priced, often just under a nickel!

Are you ready? I want you to brace yourself, because I am about to change your life. Drum roll please. The miracle product is... The baby wipe!

Didn't see that coming, did you? Okay, so I pitched a good sale, but it's not without reason. Baby wipes really are unbelievably versatile, cheap, and effecient. 

Need to wipe your baby's butt? Of course. 

Need to give your baby a waterless bath? Go right ahead!

Need to shower, but have no energy? For less than five cents, you can smell fresh as a daisy. Or a baby. 

In-laws coming over and you have no time to dust? Or vacuum the popcorn crumbs from the couch crevices? Or scrub the table? Baby wipe. Baby wipe. Baby wipe. 

I confess, I've used baby wipes for all of this and more! I've even gone so far as to polish my patent leather heels and dust my dashboard with baby wipes. I keep a package with me, even when my baby isn't! 

What crazy uses have you found for baby wipes? Please share below, and don't forget to send me your mom confessions to be featured here. 

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma

Father Funnies Friday

Father of the Year

We all have those moments that we just have to stop and laugh at our significant other when they are taking care of our babies. It's not that fathers are not completely capable of caring for a baby, because they are. It's just that we, as mothers, often have different views about how to care for said baby. I know that my husband often has his own rhythm with our baby, and they leave me cracking up.

Just last night my husband declared that he should win a father of the year award. Our baby has been fussy while I was taking a shower (no surprise there- she wants momma time every time I want to get clean,) so he consoled her and prepared her for bed. This meant changing her from a plain onesie into her pajamas, which are the full bodied zipper onesies. However, he couldn't find one of them, so he opted for the much more difficult snap variety. As she was wailing, he opted to change her standing up, because it made her happier. 

The fact that my husband changed our baby while she was standing up into a full bodied snapped onesie somehow qualified him for an award. Sarcastic as usual, I asked what kind of title I would earn since I did the same thing almost every other night. He simply said "mom." Such a double standard! I told him if he wanted more father of the year awards, he could do laundry, dishes, feed the cat, get the baby ready in the mornings (she is NOT a morning person,) and maybe even lactate... That one might even get him a Nobel Peace Prize or something. 

Don't forget to share your funny father stories to see them feautured here soon!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma

Wacky In-Law Wednesday

Stress & Anxiety, Where Least Expected 

Barnyards are filled with chaos. With a baby on the way, my life is filled with chaos too... Just not in the ways I imagined. I always figured that I would eventually be stressed or anxious over common things in my pregnancy, like dealing with the ups and downs of growing a tiny human, preparing a nursery, stocking up on diapers, and learning how to care for a newborn. Months later, I realize that none of those things have stressed me out. NONE. Sure, I would love to have finished the nursery sooner or have more diapers stocked up. Those things just seem to go by the wayside though when you are more focused on having a good pregnancy.

One thing you need to understand about me is that I am a pretty anxious person. I like things to be organized and well-planned. Call me OCD; I know I do! My husband teases me that my views in life are very black and white, with no grey areas. (Perhaps that is why I love panda bears so much?) When things do not go my way, I get stressed in a hurry. Knowing that pregnancy could bring a lot of the unexpected, I decided early on that I would try my hardest not to be anxious or stressed, and to just let the little things go as best I could. I realized that this would be the best thing for both my baby and me. Surprisingly, I was able to relax and keep myself calm with much more ease than I expected. I am still not sure how my long list of fears and anxieties evaded me, but I am thankful for a husband who I know helped steer me in the right direction. He has guided me and encouraged me when needed, and has truly been a team player in pregnancy. With him by my side, I have been able to thoroughly enjoy pregnancy.

BUT... Stress and anxiety still found me! They scratched and clawed their way into the fortress of comfort and solitude that I had built up, and started knocking me down. That is why I am here, at nearly 3:00 a.m., unable to sleep yet again. What caused this stress and anxiety? The question is not so much a "what" as a "who." That's right, PEOPLE did this to me! Even worse, it is the people who think they are helping that are hurting.

Yes, my chaotic "barnyard" is filled with relatives that pose a major threat to my happiness with baby. The worst part is that these people think that they are doing so much good; they don't even realize that their words and actions hurt. This is no new occurrence though. Every stage of my life with my husband has been speckled by the poorly thought out words and inappropriate actions of relatives, from dating to engagement to marriage and now a baby. I guess this is probably a common phenomenon, but that doesn't change the fact that it upsets me.

Stay tuned for humorous* stories about these oblivious relatives and how I cope.

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma


*funny now, not so funny at the time of occurrence

Mom Confession Monday

Dirty (Laundry) Secrets

All people have secrets, but I firmly believe that one group has the most: mothers. We keep secrets, we use trickery, and work hard at swaying our gullible children and husbands into doing things. I don't mean this in a bad way. We wouldn't lie about anything that would hurt someone. No, just little things, like this, which happens more frequently than I'm willing to admit....

I hang dry all of my jeans. They just fit better that way, and they last longer. Having finally convinced my husband of this, he too now hang dries his jeans. It takes them a solid 24 hours (at least) to dry when hanging on my cute little Pin-spired* laundry ladder.When he gets home, and changes, sometimes he realizes he has no jeans left in the closet. He immediately asks me if I took care of this. It will either go one of five ways:

1. "Yes honey. I actually did them last night, so they are dry now!" (Over-achiever moments like this happen less than I'd like.)

2. "Yes honey, I did the laundry this morning and your jeans should be dry by tomorrow morning..." (I literally just swapped the laundry and hung them up five minutes ago. Better go turn the fan on high.)

3. "Okay honey, I actually didn't get a chance today. I'll go take care of that right now. I'll turn the fan on high and they will be dry in the morning, no worries!" (I wake up earlier than my husband, so I throw the still-slightly-damp jeans on low heat for awhile to speed up the process.... Then I stick them in the fridge for a minute so they feel cool, like they have been under a fan, not in the dryer.)

4. "Okay honey, I actually think there is a pair that needs to be folded in the back, I'll check for you." (Husband is occupied outside, and the jeans he wore home look presentable... Take the belt out of the loops that he inevitably left on the jeans, spray with Febreze, fold nicely, and hang in closet.)

5. "No honey. Can't you just wear the same pair tomorrow?"

So maybe I'm a terrible person, which some of you may think. I think my dear, sweet husband is just happy to have clean jeans, however it happens. Don't forget to share your Mom Confessions with me, and I'll share them on the blog.

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma


*Pin-spired: short for Pinterest-inspired; you will see me use this made-up term frequently.

Learn the Weekly Schedule

Tomorrow is the first of what I hope will start every week... Mom Confession Monday! I will share deep truths, humorous anecdotes, and basically just spill the beans on anything that moms keep a secret. If you want to share your Mom Confessions, please share! Your name will be kept confidential, so you can rest easy sharing your secrets with the world, but not anyone you actually know!

I will also be hosting a Wacky In-Law Wednesday to share what my stories (and yours) about crazy, silly, or psycho in-laws. Hey, we all love them... Deep down. I just know that you don't just marry your husband, you marry his family. The same also goes the other way- he marries your family. Share your stories about you and your in-laws, or your husband and your parents.

Finally, Fridays will be Father Funnies Friday. Have a funny or cute story about your baby and his or her daddy? Share away!

In addition to these weekly posts, I look forward to sharing my pregnancy and baby story with you, and adding in more content as we go. I'm truly looking forward to this adventure, and I hope you join in by sharing your stories or commenting on my posts.

We are all part of the same 'hood'... MotherHOOD!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma

Welcome to the Barnyard

First and foremost, I must make a confession: I once greatly disliked the concept of “mommy” blogs. Quite frankly, they scared me. It seems like everywhere I turned on Facebook and Pinterest someone else was sharing a link to a mommy blog with yet another terrifying story about pregnancy, labor and delivery, newborn care, or some other baby-related topic that left me questioning my own wish to one day be a mother.

However, things change. With my first baby on the way, I can now say that I understand the value of mommy blogs. Sure, some still scare me to my very soul, but there is a lot of great information out there too.  I think I have discovered the main reason that mothers blog about babies and the like so much though, and it is not to just share their adventure with the world. No, the reason mothers are blogging is because they need a place to vent, to share, to justify their thoughts, and to validify their feelings. Though I am barely a member of it, I can see now that motherhood is a community in a sense. It just happens that mothers can connect to this community online, and reap the aforementioned benefits.

With all that said, I have a new respect for mommy bloggers. Though I am not sure how far I will go with this endeavor, I am happy to join others who seek a place to escape the chaos and relate to others in similar situations. I have found myself at a bit of a breaking point (so much to the point that I am spending a week on a secluded ranch in the middle of nowhere,) and writing really is an act of relaxation for me. I also use humor and sarcasm as means of dissolving my tension, so I hope that if nothing else, this will provide someone with a few good laughs.

I will be exploring a multitude of topics and stories, ranging from humorous husbands to insane in-laws, and everything else in between. Buckle up and let’s head to the barnyard, where chaos is aplenty and the laughs are many!

XOXO- Barnyard Baby Momma